


Tell Them Only Sent You

by sweetcarolanne



Category: Monster Mash - Misfits (Song)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Disabled Character, Carnival, Circus, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Cute, Friendship, Fun, Funny, Gen, Ghosts, Ghouls, Haunted Houses, Horror, Humor, Mad Scientists, Monsters, Multi, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Parody, Partying, Punk Rock, RPF, Suspension Of Disbelief, Transgender, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4031719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcarolanne/pseuds/sweetcarolanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Schlitzie, Elvira and Jenny Lee (from the 1932 horror film "Freaks") are invited to a very unusual party, meet some very unusual people, and have fun anyway!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Them Only Sent You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RobberBaroness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobberBaroness/gifts).



> Dear recipient, I hope you enjoy this story as I had great fun writing it, and mixing up so many fave horror characters to the tune of a song I love! I couldn't resist your invitation to make the mythology my own and cast three of my favorite people of all time as the heroines. In case you're unfamiliar with the three darling protagonists, here's some more information:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwEL7m75GDM  
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schlitzie  
> https://kathyoconnellsart.wordpress.com/2013/01/03/the-porcelain-snow-sister-sidshow-pinhead-freaks/
> 
> Many thanks to my beta, who wishes to remain anonymous.

Really, it was a great pity that Phroso wasn't able to come to the party with Schlitzie, Elvira and Jenny Lee after all. It would have been lots of fun to dance and play and make merry with the clown and the new friends he'd made in the strange place he loved to tell his three dear little companions all about . But he had come down with a nasty cold, and was stuck in bed for the rest of the week. He had, however, been able to send word to the host of the party, a mysterious Mr. Only, and the host had said that it was perfectly all right for the girls to come along on their own.

So Schlitzie, Elvira and Jenny Lee got all dolled up in their prettiest party dresses and their very finest dancing shoes, tying the very brightest and most glamorous ribbons they possessed in their little top-knots, and set off for the party, all the time trying to remember the unusual set of directions Phroso had given them. Through the Portal, past suspension of disbelief, down a long and winding road... most confusing indeed! What on earth was a portal... could it perhaps be that scary green door in the air that had all of a sudden loomed up in front of them? How were they possibly supposed to know such a thing?

But the three intrepid travellers made it after all, and soon found themselves standing before a huge, dark and many-turreted house, a dwelling that seemed to have once been a fine mansion but had obviously seen better days. Demonic-looking gnarled trees leaned down all around them, in twisted, monstrous poses, and noxious weeds full of toothy flowers and curling tentacled vines seemed to poke through every nook and crack and cranny wherever the visitors looked. Possibly it was the gardener's week off.

"So what!" said brave little Schlitzie, and rang the doorbell, which echoed with the sounds of a booming, ghostly gong.

A hunched man carrying chains and followed by several baying hell-hounds answered. He was not much taller than the three girls and seemed polite enough when the trio of circus performers crooned their "Hello." Schlitzie remembered what Phroso had told her to say upon arrival and proudly declared, "Only sent us!" The man at the door appeared to approve, and to appreciate Schlitzie's very wide smile.

"Good evening, ladies," said Igor, for that was the butler's name, "step this way, please, for the Master is expecting you. Most of the guests have arrived already, and are pleasant company, though the Master has asked me to warn you that it may be best to avoid the gentleman in the fedora with the sharp steel fingers. He apparently got out of the wrong side of bed this morning and is a little... grumpy as a result."

Elvira and Jenny Lee giggled a little as the trio followed Igor, admiring the cute dogs but standing back a small way from them - circus dogs bit occasionally, so perhaps these ones might too, they felt, if they got too close too soon. Down a long hallway lit by crystal chandeliers they went - it was quite an elegant and beautiful scene, if a little marred by the constant streaming down of long, sticky cobwebs from the ceiling. Along these silky strands scuttled several eight-legged, furry creatures, each about the size of a small dog, their many red eyes gleaming balefully. Elvira and Jenny Lee giggled again at how fluffy they were, and Schlitzie actually dared to pet one, for they didn't look quite as ferocious as the long-fanged puppies.

"Nice kitty!" said Schlitzie, before Igor noticed that she was lagging behind and gently ushered her and her companions into the ballroom.

This was the grandest room in the entire mansion, and was lit by even more glittering chandeliers and by spectral presences which moaned and sobbed as they drifted about, carrying torches and candles. An assortment of ghoulish folk danced to the unusual cacophony coming from the live band up on stage, or ate snacks that looked like odd pieces of shrivelled flesh, or drank a sort of punch from the large glass bowl on the table. The punch seemed to be bright green and smoking, and the girls decided it would be better if they tactfully avoided it and had some lemonade instead, which turned out to be very refreshing indeed, if a little sour.

Igor had been right; there were some very nice people attending the party. Schlitzie thought she recognized one very handsome fellow with hair on his face - surely he'd been in one of the many circuses Schlitzie had travelled with during her long sideshow career? She was mistaken on that fact, however, but she did manage to make out from his limited, guttural way of conversing that he thought her dress was very lovely and that it was fortunate that tonight was a full moon, so that he was able to come out and socialize with such a pretty lady. Schlitzie blushed and whirled off around the floor with him for a dizzying waltz, while Elvira and Jenny Lee tried to coax two well-dressed gentlemen with sharp front teeth out of the long velvet-lined boxes they seemed to enjoy resting in and onto the dance-floor. However, the attempt of the older of the two to nip at Elvira's neck made the sisters decide to desist from this course of action. Really, this was a little too forward for Elvira's liking - the girls had only just been introduced to the Count and his son, after all!

Abandoning their attempts to coax the vampiric pair onto the floor, Elvira and Jenny Lee went instead to talk to a rather shy young man of towering height with a mask and a machete, and an older woman who appeared to be his mother. "Hi there, nice lady," said Elvira, smiling, while Jenny Lee whispered, "Hello," to the son and decided it might not be such a great idea to take him out for a dance, as that machete looked very sharp indeed and might get in people's way. The dancing was not so sedate now, by the look and sound of things - it was getting very lively indeed, as the band was now playing a new song they had announced as the "Monster Mash". Several folk who had been content to shuffle and moan around the floor earlier were now flailing wildly to a hectic drumbeat and parts of their bodies seemed to actually have become detached and flown across the room!

The lady, whose name was Mrs. Voorhees, and her son seemed very happy to see the two girls and to make conversation with them. "See, Jason, there are nice girls out there!" said Mrs. Voorhees, a broad smile on her face. "Sweet, polite young ladies, not shameless harlots like those girls at the summer camp! Why don't you dance with them, there's a good boy? It's all right, my dears, he'll put the blade down while he's dancing. I'll make sure he does!" And that Jason did, thrusting the mighty weapon into one of the mouths of a three-headed alligator nailed up on the wall, and picking Elvira and Jenny Lee up in his arms and whirling them around and around until they were breathless and laughing.

Schlitzie, meanwhile, had finished her dance with the wolf-faced man and while he was getting something for them both to eat (she had managed to communicate to him that she preferred to avoid anything with eyeballs) she espied, and was drawn to, a group of clever-looking people in a corner who seemed to be working on various scientific contraptions and concoctions. Assorted body parts lay on slabs waiting to be assembled, and elixirs looking even more fiery and potent than the party punch bubbled away in beakers and test tubes. Electrodes fizzed and light-bulbs flickered on and off. All of it looked very exciting, but Schlitzie's attention was most drawn by the small figure of a doll, a puppet in the shape of a clown riding upon a tricycle. Schlitzie smiled and clapped her hands - she loved clowns, for after all, was not dear Phroso one? Behind the clown puppet was a robed figure wearing a pig mask who spoke to Schlitzie in a very, very deep voice.

"Hello, little girl. Do you appreciate your life?"

Schlitzie drew back, startled. What an odd question! And it was a bit rude of the stranger to call Schlitzie a little girl when she considered herself very grown up indeed! She felt that she didn't like this person very much at all, and she liked him even less when he intoned, "I want to play a game," and drew closer.

"Huh!" said Schlitzie.

His games didn't look like they were very much fun at all. They seemed to be made up of blades and spikes and other nasty sharp things. So Schlitzie merely squeaked, "No thanks," petted the clown doll's head and scooted outside. finding herself next to another slab adjacent to what appeared to be a huge swimming pool. Beside the slab sat a tall, powerfully-built man who seemed very familiar to Schlitzie from Phroso's description of him. This was Mr. Only himself, their gracious host, and the being lying lifelessly on the slab before him appeared to be an almost exact twin of himself, strong and muscular like his creator, only greenish in hue and with two thick bolts embedded in his neck.

Mr. Only appeared to be very sorrowful and downcast for the host of a party where so much riotous fun was being had. And the source of his sadness appeared to be the man on the slab, for despite the many electric shocks Mr. Only applied, and the injections of a vile-smelling purple fluid into the ropey veins of the creature, the green-skinned man remained comatose. Schlitzie frowned a little, feeling very sorry for poor Mr. Only indeed, and wishing that she knew enough about science to be able to help. 

She was suddenly distracted from her reverie, however, by a long, sinuous object that sneaked its way out from the deep, dark waters of the pool. A bright pink, multi-suckered tentacle was winding itself around Schlitzie's leg and attempting to drag her closer. Now this was a predicament indeed - what could poor little Schlitzie do? She didn't mind the giant octopus and her overtures of friendship in the slightest, for she always liked to make new friends, but at the same time, she didn't want to to get her pretty party dress soaking wet!

A very welcome growl sounded from beside the struggling Schlitzie. Wolfie had managed to find her at last, and had brought the refreshments he'd promised, some cakes that seemed mercifully free of eyeballs. Schlitzie gratefully accepted one, and with a cheerful "Here, puppy!" threw the delicacy into the pool, and the octopus happily scrambled after it, splashing so much that the slab was covered with water.

BANG! CRACKLE! FIZZZZZZZ! The electrodes sparked and smoked with more liveliness than ever before, and miracle of miracles, the green man on the slab rose up with a gigantic groan and began to walk around!

"It's alive! It's alive!" shouted the joyful Mr. Only. "How can I ever repay you, my brave little beauty? I know only one reward great enough - you and your little friends shall be of our kind from now on, and no creature of the night will ever harm you or your loved ones from this night forth!"

The creature from the slab picked little Schlitzie up in his arms and carried her into the ballroom. Elvira and Jenny Lee, too, were borne close in the arms of Jason Voorhees. The guests and host surrounded the three visitors and with one voice they chanted:

"WE ACCEPT YOU! ONE OF US!"

Elvira and Jenny Lee giggled happily, and slipped the mask from Jason's face (they both thought him perfectly handsome without it) and took turns kissing him on the cheek. Schlitzie danced with the Monster for a little while, and then excused herself so she could pay some attention to the faithful wolf, and then get in a dance with the good-looking host. She hoped Phroso wouldn't be too jealous when he heard about all the fun she'd been having!

It was just as Phroso had said, the people here were a little strange, but then, some spoke like that about the circus folk too. These people were perfectly nice, as indeed most people were, when you got to know them. This had to be the best party the three girls had ever attended, and they looked forward to many more.

"Gabba Gabba Hey!" cried a delighted Schlitzie.


End file.
